Influenced by a Ghost

(This Purple Heart looks exactly like the one my grandfather received from the army)

I have always believed that there has always been influential people in our lives but I also believe that "ghosts" and their stories can also influence us.

My "ghost" is my grandfather who has definitely been a huge influence in my life, despite me barely knowing him. He died of cancer when I was just barely 6 years old, but I still have very fond memories of him playing with me and pushing me in a wheel barrow in a garden. I remember him always being so kind and full of love. After my grandfather died, my father would always tell me stories of how great of a man my grandfather was during his life. According to my father, my grandfather was born of Lutheran immigrants and had to work for everything he had. He was excused from the draft in World War 2 but enlisted anyways because he said “it was the right thing to do” and he also wanted to fight alongside his brother, (unfortunately his brother was killed two weeks before the war ended). Similar to Vladek in Maus, my grandfather was a survivor. Through his skills and a bit of luck he managed to survive the war from D-Day (he fought on Omaha Beach) to the end of the war. After the war, my grandfather was dirt poor but he survived poverty by working three jobs. He married my grandmother and had four sons whom he worked hard for to give them every opportunity he didn’t have.

My grandfather sounds like he is perfect right? Well of course he had his flaws but to me my grandfather was flawless because I don’t have any bad memories about him or have heard anything negative concerning him. Between the stories and the perfect childhood memories, my grandfather has become a fictional "ghost" of how I think people, including me, should be and who I strive to be like. Because of who my grandfather was, or who I imagined him to be, I have led a very different life style. For example because my grandfather was so kind and calm to me as a child and he is so kind in all the stories, it actually makes me feel kind of guilty when I am not so nice or calm. It is kind of a “if he can do it and I am his granddaughter I should be able to do it to” effect. Also, my father told me that when I was born my grandfather was thrilled because he just knew I would go to college. I have heard it over and over again how my grandfather struggled his whole life to put his boys through college while he couldn't go so I shouldn't waste the opportunity, blah, blah blah. The only problem is that this guilt tripping actually works and I do work harder in school because I sort of want to make a ghost proud of me. In fact I want him to be so proud of me that I wrote a speech about patriotism for this VFW contest because I felt that I was obligated too considering my grandfather was a soldier and he would have loved it if I wrote about what he went through. I actually did win and had to make an acceptance speech in front of 1000 middle school kids. This is not something I wouldn't have done if it weren't for my grandfather's influence (I was shy).

Because I am the granddaughter of a surviving soldier who went through tremendous hardship fighting for his country, I have found myself to living almost a grand narrative of what a soldier's decedent should be. One can assume that a granddaughter of an American solider should be patriotic and very sensitive to issues like freedom. Because my grandfather fought for this country I do feel like I have to be (and I am) patriotic. The decedents of American soldiers should also be very thankful for what they have because their ancestors survived when so many others did not. I also do feel this way because I am a soldiers granddaughter. I feel very lucky to have the life that I have today and I almost feel guilty for my existence. Why my grandfather survived the war and his brother did not, I don’t know but my grandfather's survival is why I am here today and it inspires me to take every opportunity I can and enjoy the freedom my grandfather’s sacrifices have gave me.