The Kind of Only Child of a Kind of Single Father.

Basically the following three things effected me in several different ways on several different levels. I have an extreme distaste for people who hate their parents for absolutely no reason whatsoever. That same distaste goes for people who don't appreciate what their parents have done and sacrificed so that their child(ren) could have the life they live. And then there's the pesky abandonment issue.

When I was born, my mom and dad (who weren't married at the time), had me. My mother had two children already, an older boy and older girl whose ages I don't think I've ever known. My mom and dad divorced when I was far too young to remember, and I just grew up without a mother. I only ever remember posing the question to my dad once or twice, but never thought anything of it past that. Other children had two parents, I had one. I lived with it and that was just fine with me. Without delving into the nitty gritty of it all, I never missed her. I never knew her. I still don't know her. When I say that I don't like people who don't like their parents for no rational reason, it somewhat goes doubly for people who don't appreciate their mothers. Having grown up with not so great of a mom myself, I get not liking them for certain reasons (that don't ride on the side of idiocy). What I don't get is when people just don't like them. As if their teenage angst prevents them from realizing that, hey, they still have both of their parents. Maybe they should quit their complaining and appreciate the fact that they have two parents that care for them; which brings me to my next point.

My father worked day and night to near points of exhaustion for me to live as well as I did. It wasn't luxurious or extravagant, but it was home... kind of. No matter how much you work, being a single parent means that you'll probably not be living in a house, and an apartment is out of the question unless you've got a constant sitter. Solution? Have your child live with family friends until you find a stable place to live. Not only did I move around from 'home' to 'home', I had other places that I would stay if my dad worked late into the night. It's actually to the point where I don't remember when I lived where, and can barely put them in chronological order. I'm quite serious about this. Since the people I stayed with were either related to each other, or still very good friends (I guess we're a fairly tight community), it makes it difficult since I saw everyone all the time. Playing onto the earlier point, when people don't realize what their parents (and ancestors) have given up to make sure that they have good lives, so that they don't have to live in poverty-stricken countries where people are literally starving rather than, "Ugh. My life sucks. I don't have enough money for this buffet. Gosh." I'm not on some high horse and I won't snap at you if you say you're starving or something to that effect. I will however secretly despise you if you cruise and don't at least acknowledge what your parents have done. My dad has brought me to work with him before because he couldn't find someone to watch me. I'll put this into perspective: He was one of two people closing a Walmart while simultaneously watching a five-year old. A five-year old that likes to explore large places like Walmart. One that apparently didn't like the concept of sleeping.

One other main important era of my life involved my father getting remarried, to a woman with two girls, as well as bringing over my step-sister from Cambodia, essentially giving me a family; Something I didn't have for the first ten or so years of my life. Long story short, I lived with them, loved them and then another divorce happened about three years later. Oh, I should also mention that at this point, we were living in a house. My own house. If this isn't a generic recipe for abandonment issues, I don't know what is. I guess the term I'm using is a little vague and over-encompassing. While I socialize perfectly fine and am relatively outgoing, I don't get close to people on a personal level. I don't talk about myself (on a personal level). Ever.

While these aren't the biggest parts of my personality, these are major events that shaped me to be who I am today. Most of this was from a class aspect (lower to lower-middle), only child with a single parent, etc) though there were cultural aspects that also came into play. That's a whole different blog post for a whole different day.