Big City Bound

When I was 6 months old, I was adopted from South Korea by my parents who reside in the United States. We live in a small town in Southern Minnesota. I am constantly complaining that my hometown is small and that there is "nothing to do." After graduating high school, I knew I wasn't going to attend a small school is a small college town. For me it was big school, bigger city.

I was born in Seoul, South Korea in one of the largest hospitals there. I was born in one of the largest cities in the world. I was born in a highly populated area. I believe I was meant to live in a large city. I love Minneapolis. There is so much to do, so much to see, and so much to experience.

In a big city I feel like I belong. There are thousands of people around me, all diverse. I don't stick out and everyone doesn't know my story. I'm not "the adopted girl" anymore. I don't feel alone because there is a sea of people walking right beside me.

In the summer of 2008, my parents blessed me with the opportunity to visit South Korea. Thinking I was going to fit in there, I didn't. I stuck out more than I did back home in the United States. The Korean people knew I wasn't from there. I didn't speak their language. I didn't dress like them. My looks weren't even the same. From then on, I constantly thought, I don't fit in anywhere. I questioned and thought a lot about what would have happened if I didn't get adopted. Would I still have the same opportunities? Would I have been bounced from foster care to foster care? Would my birth parents be able to care for me? Would I have more chances if I stayed in South Korea? What would I be like? While I'll never know my "other life," I've come to happy medium where I would love to know, but I'm completely satisfied with how my life is.

Being adopted, visiting Seoul, and living in Minneapolis has definitely had a large impact on my life. Because my biological parents put me up for adoption, I've had abandonment issues and I'm always worried to commit to something because I don't want to get disappointed if it falls though. I've had to deal with those emotions inside for all my life. Although confused and angry that my birth parents did give me up, I am happy. Without that decision, I would not have met my amazing family, awesome friends, or lived the privileged life I have lived so far. By visiting Korea, I have realized that I am my own self and I am unique. I'm like no one else. And I'm perfectly fine with that.