Why I'm Single

Front and center, is where I sat. Front, because I have a personal faith with my God and trust that he will lead me though life. Center, because I believe that science is there but I don’t think that it needs to conflict with religion. In the back of the room there may be someone who is sitting in the center like me and doesn’t really have a persuasion of if they believe in science or not but are back there because they don’t believe in a god. For me it’s difficult to understand how someone can’t believe in God. Bad things do happen, people fail, there is death and problems but with God their is hope. He directs my choices, my actions, and my everything in life. With out Him, I would have nothing consistent in my life to put my trust in.

Because God is the most important part of my life and I choose to put him first, I made the decision when I was fifteen, not to date until I was ready to get married. I’m almost seventeen now (yep I'm a PSEO kid) and I don't date, compromise my standards, have friends with benefits, or have sex outside of marriage. I believe that God knows my desires and He has plans for me, if I choose to be content with him first. I did date a little before my decision and learned that now is not the time. I have other mentors in my life who have done the same or are doing the same (even at the age of 27) and it’s encouraging to see how they have been able to learn so much about themselves and know God’s plans for them in their life.

And probably you, the person in the back of the room, and along with the majority of people who read this are thinking, “Crazy. How could someone not date, make out, or have sex until they feel some 'God' is ready for them too”. They may wonder how do you know what type of people you like or don’t like if you don’t test the waters. It may be their own decision to date or be sexually active outside of marriage so that they will find acceptance of them self though others. They may not have much support in their life with family or friends so they look for that in other people to satisfy that need and wants.

I know there are great relationships among my high school peers and friends in college but the fact of the matter is, is that dating represents marriage in shorter terms. So if your dating a lot then breaking up a lot, how will that effect you long term? I have plenty of christian and non christian friends who are in good relationships at a young age but in doing so have had to give up something in that relationship. People normally think of the typically things you give up in order to date such as time with friends and family or the money spent. They also might have to give up opportunities to travel, time to know more about them self, the chance of meeting other people, but most importantly (how every much they put into a relationship will determine how much it will hurt when it’s over) they give up a piece of their heart.

Everyone wants to be loved, there is doubt about it. Way, way, back in the day, non-romantic relationships were very different than they are now. Nowadays, intimate relationships are saved for marriages, unless you choose to be sexually active before marriage, and our friendships now are good, but they are not truly intimate. Long ago it was more common for relationships between friends to have a deep level of intimacy, that had the potential to be life giving and very deep, yet it was not sexual.

Where are friends like that now?

The reason I do what I do is because I have friends like that. Who feed into my life and encourage me to grow in faith, stature, and godly character. For people who don’t have genuine love in their life, I can see why they choose to go beyond the boundaries of friendship and for people who don’t have faith, they may not see dating as a big deal. But for me, I choose to seek first God and his righteousness, then everything else will fall into place later, at the proper time (Matt. 6:33).